We had such beautiful weather this weekend. Silas’ siblings wanted to make him pictures to put at his grave. So we came up with a way to display the pictures and keep them dry. 

   
   
I still find it hard to believe he is gone. We had been planning on moving to Philadelphia for his care at this time. My due date is getting closer and It is a date looming over me. Not really sure how I will feel as that date passes and he is not here. We were so ready to do whatever it took to give him the best life possible. Through all my range of emotions God has remained a good good father.   

We went to the zoo yesterday to enjoy some family time. As we walked through the zoo a little Cardinal flew in and out of our path( a cardinal flew over his grave at his service and has become a symbol of Silas when we see one, which always comes at the right time).God sent that little reminder  that Silas was with us in our hearts on this family trip. 

We were encouraged to get our whole family checked for any heart issues due to the defect Silas had. The insurance will sure love us when they see nine bills for nine echocardiograms come through their office. I had anxiety going into them, not sure how the young ones would do, but they did great. Praying and believing for good results. 

  
I end this blog with an encouragement to others who are facing trials in their lives to seek God. He will be a source of comfort, peace, and wisdom. He may not take all the hurt away as our flesh will still cry out, but his arms are wide open to  love you if you willing to accept it. 

The nice weather finally arrived for a few days for us to break ground on Silas’ memorial garden in our backyard. I was so excited to see his tree being planted. It is a very large golden weeping willow. The next phase will be to build the garden area where his bench will sit. Unfortunately the bench will not be ready until July.   The morning after the tree was planted I woke up and opened my eyes and I realized I had a direct view of his tree/garden area. I cried happy tears. 

A talented friend of ours designed our logo for our shirts that we will wear for the heart walk in May.  It symbolizes what we are doing in our backyard.

We greatly appreciate all the support we have received from friends and family. These projects help me feel like I am still able to do things for Silas and to help others going through similar situations. Not a day goes by that I don’t read about another child who has lost their battle to a Chd. It saddens me and at the same time angers me. All I can do is pray that God will give those families peace and comfort them during their own journey.

We went to visit his grave and saw they had the forms ready to pour the concrete for his headstone that will come in May. For some reason that hit me hard. It took me by surprise. My younger kids get nervous when I start to cry and they ask why is your face doing that?😏.  They don’t want to see mommy sad.  I composed myself and as we pulled away wouldn’t you know it the song we sang at his funeral-He is with us, started playing on the radio and the tears started all over again. I have learned that you can never tell what, where, who, or when will trigger a crying spell and that I just let it happen and not fight it.

Silas’ journey has now been read in 32 countries. He is still my little missionary that I love and miss every day.   I can honestly say I think of him dozens of times a day.   My little Ocho