Sine we became pregnant with our new little one at almost the one year mark of getting pregnant with Silas, all the milestones are coinciding at the same time. It makes for a lot of mixed emotions.   

This Friday we will have the nuchal translucency screening on the new baby. It will be one year that at the same test we found out that Silas had something extremely wrong with his heart and possibly some form of trisomy. In the CHD community the questions and worries that come up a lot are “will my next child be heart healthy?”  As the time approaches I find myself getting very anxious to make it past this point. Praying our little one will be healthy. I catch myself reliving over and over that day that was suppose to be a happy day-getting to see our growing child, turn into something so overwhelming and lasting hours as we discuss what all the testing meant and where we go from that point. I can remember every tiny detail.  I can still feel the raw emotion of the expected diagnosis and the uncertainty of the prognosis.   It will be hard walking into those same doors, hallways, elevators, and offices of the specialist that we visited several times until I delivered Silas. I don’t mean to sound so depressed and hopeless as I am also filled with joy and excitement at seeing our newest blessing. I just want to be real. This is what is going on and it is ok!  Between now and January 15th there will be several other  one year marks that I am sad to see approaching, but behind that sadness God has brought joy right along with it, my gift from God, new life.  

We recently purchased a beautiful leaded stain glass cardinal to hang at his grave. I will post pictures once it is up.  We also bought his ornament for our Christmas tree. It is a tradition that each of our children get a first Christmas ornament that marks their life. Of course our stockings that will be hung would not be complete without one for Silas. His came in the mail yesterday with his name stitched onto it(for the life of me I can’t remember what that is called). Etsy has been my friend lately:)